Part 3- Our life together as husband and wife (Final Chapter)

Our life together as husband and wife

My marriage with David wasnt how I expected it to be... or what I had pictured in my head. I wanted my wedding to be beautiful but also our marriage.
Every girl (well that I know) envisions that when we have a new husband, there is romance, travelling, buying a house and raising children together.
My life with David was so much different...

My husband was what you could call a 'Con Man'. Everything was bought out of fraud. We'd finance new cars with fake cheques, but then of course our cars were eventually repossessed so we'd have to buy a smaller car that we could afford to pay for.

Applying to rent a house was a challenge too considering our name had a black mark next to it giving us bad credit and a bad name. So we'd have to change our surname and create a fake ID in order for our rental application to be approved. We probably moved to 4 or 5 different places in a matter of a short 6 months because either the rent wasnt paid in time, or wasnt paid at all. We would buy pets that werent allowed to be kept on the premises making the landlords upset therefore kicking us out. Or David would throw hissy fits everytime he was cranky and left holes in the walls that he'd punch through and we'd have to dodge the inspections, also in result of us leaving.

David also used to apply for credit cards, one in particular he signed the application form as myself being the primary card holder and forged my signature. Thinking not much of it it caught up to me years ahead when I found out that Dave had spent over $20,000 without paying any money back, leaving me bankrupt, (This haunted me after we were divorced...)

Anyway, his actions rubbed off on me and I was doing things that I really didnt want to do- steal, swear, lie, all the things that really bring you down.

Every weekend was also a challenge. All I wanted to do was spend quality time with David after a week of hard work. Except Dave would want to hang with mates and go nightclubbing. It wasnt with people you'd want to hang with either. They loved taking drugs all the time and they took speed and ectasy too. Of course David got involved in drugs and then introduced me to it. Never in my life had a touched a drug until then.

I wanted to really settle down, I wanted to stop the drugs and partying every weekend and to have a baby. It got to the point where I stayed home every weekend while David stayed out from dusk till dawn clubbing.

I argued with him that I wanted him to spend more quality time with me rather than him spending every weekend clubbing with his mates. He felt that it was pointless having quality time with me especially if I wanted to go to sleep, "Your going to be asleep anyway so while im out at the club you wont even know im gone" he says. So he'd just enjoyed doing his own thing.

10 months after marriage

" David, im pregnant", holding a positive pregnancy test in front of him. At that instant David had to light a cigarette. I think he was happy but at the same time he looked a little stressed.

Do you think me being pregnant stopped Dave from clubbing? Hell no! There were times that I would get dragged along to the night clubs with him at 6 months pregnant! There was just no stopping him from partying and drugs, partying and drugs.

Thank goodness though I managed to quit smoking, drinking and the drugs when I found out I was pregnant.

Throughout my whole pregnancy, David and I used to fight all the time. He used to go out alot even during the day which is something I couldnt understand. He kept saying to me that we needed a break from fighting and thought it was best if I stayed at his parents house for a few days to cool things down.

I thought this was a good idea.

Being at David's parents house was nice. It was away from David and the fighting and it was getting to know my In-laws alot better.

Then it happened...

One Sunday when I was staying over my In laws house, they dragged me along to church. Remember I told you that David's dad is one of the Pastors at some church? Well I finally got to find out what church he had been attending.

It was a loooooong sermon. Soooo boring I found, but I really felt a nice presence in the church and met lovely people.

After the sermon was finished, the pastor who was speaking at the time asked if anyone wanted to give their life to Jesus. I really didnt know what this meant, but I hated my life, I was unhappy in my marriage and I really needed something in my life. So I put up my hand and gave my whole life to God.

My In laws were so happy. I didnt understand why, I just thought yeah I want him in my life, but this doesnt change things.
Soon after church was finished I was approached by one of the pastors. He told me that I made the most amazing decision and he asked me to say the sinners prayer with him. He held my hands and prayed for me and at this point I was in tears! I couldnt understand why!

My mother in law bought me a Bible from the gift shop and she signed it "Love mum and dad" I thought it was a nice gesture.
David didnt know any of this because as you know I was staying at his parents house for a break away.

The next day however David came to pick me up from his parents house. The minute I was in the car, things changed. Not with David.. but how I looked at him. It was just really weird, I had never felt like this before. It was if I didnt know him. It felt like he was a complete stranger. I cant explain it!
Not only that, I had stopped swearing, lying and really feeling different. I was a happy person! I had to tell David what had happened in the church and he told me 'Yeah, well its no need to tell all our friends and stuff so just keep it to yourself'.

More and more I read my bible and I also attended my local church without David. I met a really nice girl who I became best friends with and at the time she was pregnant too which was nice.

As I got closer and closer to God, David and I kept fighting more and more. I couldnt understand it.

Heading back to David's parents house for another 'break away' David told me to not call him for at least 4 days. During that time he just wanted time alone. I granted his wish but gosh I was missing him.

After 4 days I decided to give David a call. I walked outside with the phone while I was talking to him to get fresh air and to keep my conversation with him personal. I just didnt want his parents listening in the backround incase we got into another fight.

During the phone call I said to him "David do you still love me?", he said "Yes but im not in love with you anymore". I said to him "What in the hell does that mean David?" He told me that he wanted a divorce.

I Screamed!!! "5 weeks before we have our baby and you want a divorce???"... I hung up the phone and his parents came racing outside to comfort me, asking me what had happened. They took me inside and they prayed for me. I was so upset that I grabbed my bible and I threw it across the room nearly tearing the pages. At this point I was angry with God. I thought to God how could you let this happen???

My mother in law said something to me that I will never forget, 'Tess, I know that you are going through a tough time, but please dont let go of God''.

Anyway, during these little breaks away from David, I found out that he left me for another woman and was seeing her whilst I was 6 months pregnant. He left me with no car, no money, nothing. I was literally kicked out of the house and was left with nothing.

I ended up moving into David's parents house where they took care of me until I was able to get back onto my feet.

5 weeks later on the dot, my beautiful son Jordan was born.

Yes David was in the labor room with me but I really didnt want him in there because he was on drugs yet again.
David's Ex-wife (who he was married to before me and also has a daugther) who I had become best friends with at the church where I gave my life to Christ was there in the labour room with me also. She did a much better job of being there for me.

Accepting God in my life was the best decision I made. In faith and in patience, I did believe. I believed that I was going to become a better person and I did.

8 months later I managed to find a rental property only 2 doors down from my In-Laws. Of course I had to be honest with my application and tell them a little of my history and they wanted to trust me with my word and let me have the house to rent.
I knew God was looking after me.

My In-laws also gave me their second car to drive around in because I used to catch the train everywhere.
I knew God was looking after me.

Ever since I met Jesus, my life has been so much better and happier. I know that I was living in the dark, but now into the light because I had so much joy in my life from the friends that I made through church and how I was blessed with gifts and also blessed with my beautiful son.

When Jordan turned 18months, I knew that God wanted me to move closer to where David was. I had no idea why, but I trusted God and so I did.

I found a unit around the local church that I had started to attend when I was living with David and thats...when I met my new husband Glyn.

Had I forgotten about God, I knew that I would go back to my old habitual ways of living. I wouldnt be happy and I would be so lost in my life. But trusting my mother in law about what she said in regards to not forgetting God. I trusted her word.

God has never failed me with his word. The Bible and his promises that he makes. With Faith I believed!

Moving house and attending a new church, meeting my new husband Glyn was something I thought that never would happen. Even becoming a Christian was something I thought never would happen. But it was all in Gods plan and purpose for my life.

But meeting Glyn my friends, is another story.............................!